Monthly Archives

October 2016

Housekeeping

Hello Blog Family!

Hello readers! Let me introduce myself: I’m Beth, an awkward, introverted book nerd who loves the written word and the ability to socialize where and when I want. Not too much to ask, right? I have a lot to say, but don’t always feel comfortable saying it in person, so that led me to the idea of starting a blog where I can express myself and hopefully reach some people who can relate and can benefit from these ramblings.

The last couple years of my twenties have proven to contain the most eventful, challenging, and fulfilling transitions I ever expected to experience. I spent the first 27 years of my life in various small towns of West Virginia, doing small town things like eating at Applebees and walking around Wal-Mart at 2:00 AM. After relocating to Pittsburgh in 2013, I began to realize that although I treasure and appreciate my upbringing in my home among the hills, I had not only a sheltered outlook on life, but had also experienced so little of what the world had to offer to guide me on the path to discover who I really am.

Before I moved to Pittsburgh, I was a straight sorority girl who said “like” way too often and had pumpkin spiced latte literally running through my veins, settling for being semi-content in my relationship with my college boyfriend and a career that paid the bills and fed my shopping addiction. Fast forward to today and I’m a bisexual writer who is blissfully engaged to a woman and her four-year-old daughter, striving to spend my days pursuing my passion. I do still say “like” more than most people, and I’m currently typing this while drinking my second PSL of the day, but hey, people don’t change that much, am I right?

Seriously though, how perfect are they?!

When I found myself in a drastically new kind of relationship with a ready-made, nontraditional family, I tried to find resources to help my with advice and support for this transition. I didn’t have any “newly” gay friends in my life. I mean, most of my pals came out right after high school, and they all pretty much drive down a one way street if you know what I mean. I know no one (still really don’t) who went through this big of an identity change this late in life.

My goal with this blog is to help create a community for people to feel free to be themselves, share their experiences, and hopefully benefit from the insight I have to offer. Straight, gay, bisexual, transgender, however you identify (or don’t), let’s be friends and help one another through this amazingly unique and beautiful thing called life.

Xo –

  • Beth Ann
Personal

White Wedding Wonders

I was never one of those girls who spent her childhood planning and daydreaming about the perfect white wedding. The dress, the shoes, the perfect bouquet toss. Until last year, the only thing I imagined was that someday I would be a bride who married a groom, and we would live happily ever after. Because of how many surprises and twists and turns we take through life, I don’t usually plan or fantasize about anything until the concept of it is actually concrete. So I didn’t begin to think about my wedding until Jen proposed; as a matter of fact, I just assumed she would be the one to propose because, well, I had always been a straight girl and that’s all I knew.

My fiance proposed outside of Konzelmann, one of the wineries at Niagara on the Lake, and just like that we were off to the races and I found myself engaged and planning a wedding, or as most people feel the need to specify, a gay wedding. My head began to race with so many questions. What are the rules here? Can I wear a dress? Does she wear a tux? Is that too straight? Can we do vows? Will a minister actually marry us? Will people come?

It was right after a rain storm, but isn't this place stunning?

It was right after a rain storm, but isn’t this place stunning?

I googled, I researched, I bought every resource I could find. I followed bridal blogs on Instagram, joined all of the planning websites, bought every issue I could find of The Knot, purchased the corresponding ultimate wedding planning binder, and dug in. Most of these resources, as customizable as they advertise themselves to be, haven’t fully jumped on board with making their language and tips easily adaptable by same sex couples. So I shifted gears. My google searches turned into “how to plan a lesbian wedding”, and my book purchases evolved into “wedding planning guide for the modern/nontraditional bride”.

And you know what? That didn’t help either. Because I am neither of these things. I’m not a straight girl, and I’m not a lesbian. I refused to label myself until I began to grasp that I identified the most with the term “bisexual”, but unfortunately while it seems to be one of the most inclusive ways to identify, being bisexual has the tendency to actually mean that you don’t fit in anywhere. You don’t fit the cookie cutter straight wedding concept, and you don’t fit into all of the full blown lesbian stereotypes either (although I did just buy a Subaru. I can’t resist my fate entirely).

So I finally resigned to the fact that I might have to pave my own way in the wedding planning process. I have about ten half finished checklists, multiple magazines covered in question marks and earmarked pages, and an empty planning binder with a few scribbles and a whole lot of pages with the word “groom” scratched out. My dress? It’s purple, and it’s a gown. Her tie? Burberry, purple, and fabulous. Our playlist? A little bit of top 40 and a whole lotta Tegan and Sara and Dave Matthews Band. Bridal party? Nah. Bouquet? You’re damn right. Because when it comes right down to it, we’re not planning a gay wedding or a straight wedding. We’re planning our wedding. And it’s going to be perfect.

 

 

xoxo

-Beth

 

 

 

 

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